So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The air taste purple.
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