Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
