I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't think brook has ever known best
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
