Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
