When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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