i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
