you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize