sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
