I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize