thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
