I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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