I just cut my nipple shaving
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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