is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
