It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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