Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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(567): View more from Ohio

She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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(727): View more from Florida

Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.

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(815): View more from Illinois

while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.

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(636): View more from Missouri

what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.

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