He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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