Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize