That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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