I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
