I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
