He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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