yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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