Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize