he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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