sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize