i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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