I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
