Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
