try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
