Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
