For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
