She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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