It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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