): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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