You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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