I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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