i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Damn victory sex feels great
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
