No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my shit smells like andre
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
