Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
