Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
