I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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