Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
