Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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