Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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