You can't motorboat a personality
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
