if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
