im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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