It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
