youre lurking in front of me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
