And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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