You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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