We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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