THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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