dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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