found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have feelings that need drinking.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can't talk, ducks in the car
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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