Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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