I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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