so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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