the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
