Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Man, jail baloney is awful.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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