I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
