dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
