Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
