bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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