is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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