so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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